The Many Adventures of a Thede

I am feeling a very high level of stress lately and have been ever since Christmas. Isn't it supposed to be the other way around? I think there were things leading up to Christmas that could have been stressful, but I was just too excited about everything to really be stressed. But the excitement melted away the weekend after Christmas when my family was packing up to leave NYC and I was trying to move a holiday's worth of food, gifts, clothes, and animals back to my tiny apartment and try to leave the home we had stayed in in tip top shape. I just couldn't deal. Yes, everything got done and I made it home and there were no disasters. But that weekend was the beginning of a spiral of stressful events in my life.

The week following Christmas, I found out that one of the shows at the theatre where I work is closing. Found out today that the precise date is January 18. This is the show that opened in November that I was hired on because of. So, guess what its closing means? Yep, I'm out of the job. Just temporarily. Eventually another show will come along and I'll be hired back, but right now I have no idea how long I'm looking at unemployment. Could be a couple weeks, could be a couple months. Let's pray for the first one. But because of the lay-off, I'm back to job hunting. I just want to find something temporary, but that's just as hard as finding something permanent, I think.

In addition to this lay-off news, I am also apartment hunting. Isn't being layed off the perfect time to look for a new home? Well, nothing is definite, but I am growing tired of my shoebox and I'm ready to expand to a larger home. But I've been pushed into pursuing this desire NOW of all times by Eduardo who is hoping he, his brother, and I can share a large place together. He will be out of his current apartment February 1st. Day and night, all I think about is apartments and how I can get a cheap one in a nice neighborhood. I dream about it. Literally. At work I hope for tasks to come across my desk just to keep me from scouring craigslist 24/7. But then doing work makes me think about how soon I won't have work to come to anymore! Aaah! It never ends.

The worst part of this stress is the physical toll it is taking. As soon as a minor hitch is thrown into my day, I get a knot in my stomach that feels more like a bowling ball that never seems to completely go away. I feel my chest tighten up, and I have to take slow breaths to try to settle myself down. I know we all have stress, but I have a history of handeling mine better than this. I don't usually allow things to get to my core. But they have. Too many things happened at once and my defense system is down. If either the apartment or the job could be taken care of, I think I would be able to resume life as normal.

Sorry this post is such a downer, but this stuff is consuming my life so that I don't really have much else to share. Please keep me in your prayers. I need to settle down and lighten up! Please send those thoughts my way.

This is my current favorite song to listen to as a walk the streets of New York. It is pretty appropriate at the moment...and a beautiful song.